Yes, it's my birthday!!! And those birthday blues I had last week...well I think they are pretty much packed up in a little box and put away with the rest of last year. Birthdays to me have an entirely different meaning, they're not just a milestone. You know how people make resolutions on New Year's Eve? I make my resolution on my birthday, because after today, MY new year begins.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Birthday Blues
I'm definitely having the birthday blues...do you ever get them? I'm sure it happens to girls more often then it does to guys, I've seen it happen to a lot of friends.
Well, if you haven't experienced them, girls, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's kinda like being on your period. You feel fat no matter how much you run, how much you're on the stairmaster, how much you don't eat, you feel like a huge beached whale and all you want to do is eat a huge piece of cake with a pile of ice cream on it. You feel like a social outcast and doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching HGTV or FoodNetwork isn't very appealing at all. You don't feel pretty, you can be tan as fudge but your face still is like the freaking craters on the moon. All you feel like doing is crying, crying for no reason at all, and it's not the crying where you're looking for pity, but the crying where you feel like no one understands you or will ever understand you and you'll be even more upset when they think you're crazy for feeling the way you do. Then you think to last bday...that one's hard for me. I guess it's hard because it's the way I am and how I was made. I've spent every bday in vegas since I was 18 years old. The past 3 years I've spent it with an amazing person who meant the world to me, he was like my brother, an older brother I never had. We speant a lot of time together other than just bdays. He kept me company on very many Vegas trips and he kept me company while he visited Scottsdale. I had the most amazing birthday last year. I was lucky enough to have it drama free with people that I care the most about there. A week later Sammy past away in an awful car accident. I've never experienced a death before, his was the first. It was really hard on me although I did my best to stay strong for people around me. I didn't think that it would effect me still but the closer to my bday it gets the sadder I get.
Not really sure if anyone out there can relate to what I'm feeling. just a combination of things. Stress, not working, not making any money, bills, my stupid fudging DUI bs...right now I feel like I can't do anything right.
A little reassurance would be nice and I know I'll have fun on my bdday regardless. I tried to leave it up to my friends to be a surprise but once again I still partook in the planning. I didn't want to. For the first time ever I wanted to be surprised, I'm always the one planning and coordinating my bday. Planning everyone else's so their bday is the BEST day they've had all year. From balloons, flowers, tee shirts, dinners, homemade cupcakes, streamers, confetti...everything.
Birthday blues suck. I'm just venting and I know I'll be fine. Just wished someone understood how I felt without thinking I was overdramtic or crazy.
Well, if you haven't experienced them, girls, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's kinda like being on your period. You feel fat no matter how much you run, how much you're on the stairmaster, how much you don't eat, you feel like a huge beached whale and all you want to do is eat a huge piece of cake with a pile of ice cream on it. You feel like a social outcast and doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching HGTV or FoodNetwork isn't very appealing at all. You don't feel pretty, you can be tan as fudge but your face still is like the freaking craters on the moon. All you feel like doing is crying, crying for no reason at all, and it's not the crying where you're looking for pity, but the crying where you feel like no one understands you or will ever understand you and you'll be even more upset when they think you're crazy for feeling the way you do. Then you think to last bday...that one's hard for me. I guess it's hard because it's the way I am and how I was made. I've spent every bday in vegas since I was 18 years old. The past 3 years I've spent it with an amazing person who meant the world to me, he was like my brother, an older brother I never had. We speant a lot of time together other than just bdays. He kept me company on very many Vegas trips and he kept me company while he visited Scottsdale. I had the most amazing birthday last year. I was lucky enough to have it drama free with people that I care the most about there. A week later Sammy past away in an awful car accident. I've never experienced a death before, his was the first. It was really hard on me although I did my best to stay strong for people around me. I didn't think that it would effect me still but the closer to my bday it gets the sadder I get.
Not really sure if anyone out there can relate to what I'm feeling. just a combination of things. Stress, not working, not making any money, bills, my stupid fudging DUI bs...right now I feel like I can't do anything right.
A little reassurance would be nice and I know I'll have fun on my bdday regardless. I tried to leave it up to my friends to be a surprise but once again I still partook in the planning. I didn't want to. For the first time ever I wanted to be surprised, I'm always the one planning and coordinating my bday. Planning everyone else's so their bday is the BEST day they've had all year. From balloons, flowers, tee shirts, dinners, homemade cupcakes, streamers, confetti...everything.
Birthday blues suck. I'm just venting and I know I'll be fine. Just wished someone understood how I felt without thinking I was overdramtic or crazy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My Pinky Toe: Damn It To High Heels!
My pinky toe is a little upset
it actually wants to kill me, that I bet
Damn it to high heels and longer legs
let me outta this shoe my pinky begs!
Right now its all black and blue
surely soon the nail will need to be glued
It's red and swollen like a baby pig
the knuckle is huge and really big
Kinda looks like a fat little worm
outta the shoe it wants to squirm!
Damn it to high heels I'm so over you!
someone let my pinky toe outta these shoes!
it actually wants to kill me, that I bet
Damn it to high heels and longer legs
let me outta this shoe my pinky begs!
Right now its all black and blue
surely soon the nail will need to be glued
It's red and swollen like a baby pig
the knuckle is huge and really big
Kinda looks like a fat little worm
outta the shoe it wants to squirm!
Damn it to high heels I'm so over you!
someone let my pinky toe outta these shoes!
He's Just Not That Into You
"...These stories don't help you. These stories are the exceptions to the rule. We want you to think of yourself as the rule. Thinking of yourself as the exception is what got you into this mess in the first place. Tell your friends to stop telling you these stories...."
My Favorite Excuses
-"I'm just not ready"
-"He's afraid to get hurt again"
-"He just got out of a relationship"
-"But he's got a lot on his mind"
Ok, so I've read the book and I watched the movie yesterday and I have a lot of wheels spinning in my mind. If you think about it, everything makes perfect sense, it's just up to us to accept it or not. When you think you like someone you put up with excuses and re-word everything they say to you. Snap out of it! Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of a lot of what not to do...but I won't let it happen in the future and no one should, guy or girl.
This is what I've come up with and I'm sticking to it whether anyone agrees with me or not...
-If you like someone, regardless of the situation, whether you just got your heart smashed and stepped on and you feel like it's the end of the world, don't let that get in between potential new feelings, don't use "i just got out of a relationship" as an excuse. You might actually be passing something amazing by.
-If you figure out you're just not that into that person, don't make excuses!!! Be honest and upfront! And don't let it continue, nothings worse than being in the dark.
-If you are honestly looking for a booty call be honest about that too and don't lead that person on making them think that it could really turn into a relationship
-Don't compare your old relationship to your new one...everyone is different!!! Obviously. Comparing and judging is just going to hurt your new relationship and it's just not worth the stress.
-Don't use the excuse "I'm just not ready to date anyone". This is such bullshit. The real answer, you don't like that person enough to date them.
-If you like someone, sometimes you have to risk being hurt. Life is about trial and error, if you don't try, how will you figure out what you want. Every relationship, good or bad, will teach you something new about you or what you are looking for.
I honestly don't know if people will ever learn. Maybe it's just this generation that's F*ed up. But I'm going to give love the benefit of the doubt...there are people out there that are genuinely good people and understand that feelings are involved when it comes to relationships.
So F*** the people that have hurt you
Know your self-worth
Learn from your mistakes
Don't accept anything less
Keep trying, don't give up, it'll happen when you least expect it
"Don't waste the pretty"
My Favorite Excuses
-"I'm just not ready"
-"He's afraid to get hurt again"
-"He just got out of a relationship"
-"But he's got a lot on his mind"
Ok, so I've read the book and I watched the movie yesterday and I have a lot of wheels spinning in my mind. If you think about it, everything makes perfect sense, it's just up to us to accept it or not. When you think you like someone you put up with excuses and re-word everything they say to you. Snap out of it! Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of a lot of what not to do...but I won't let it happen in the future and no one should, guy or girl.
This is what I've come up with and I'm sticking to it whether anyone agrees with me or not...
-If you like someone, regardless of the situation, whether you just got your heart smashed and stepped on and you feel like it's the end of the world, don't let that get in between potential new feelings, don't use "i just got out of a relationship" as an excuse. You might actually be passing something amazing by.
-If you figure out you're just not that into that person, don't make excuses!!! Be honest and upfront! And don't let it continue, nothings worse than being in the dark.
-If you are honestly looking for a booty call be honest about that too and don't lead that person on making them think that it could really turn into a relationship
-Don't compare your old relationship to your new one...everyone is different!!! Obviously. Comparing and judging is just going to hurt your new relationship and it's just not worth the stress.
-Don't use the excuse "I'm just not ready to date anyone". This is such bullshit. The real answer, you don't like that person enough to date them.
-If you like someone, sometimes you have to risk being hurt. Life is about trial and error, if you don't try, how will you figure out what you want. Every relationship, good or bad, will teach you something new about you or what you are looking for.
I honestly don't know if people will ever learn. Maybe it's just this generation that's F*ed up. But I'm going to give love the benefit of the doubt...there are people out there that are genuinely good people and understand that feelings are involved when it comes to relationships.
So F*** the people that have hurt you
Know your self-worth
Learn from your mistakes
Don't accept anything less
Keep trying, don't give up, it'll happen when you least expect it
"Don't waste the pretty"
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Elliptical Disaster
This has to make everyone kinda laugh...
After Lee's training I went to the gym to do some more cardio.
I'm on the elliptical, I'm still sweating from training, my legs F'ing hurt, I'm hungry, I had a bad night, I'm PISSED off, I hate having BBM, I'm contemplating swearing off all men, and I am on the verge of tears because life gave me lemons and they aren't F'ing squeezing to make lemonade with.
Then I hear a "POP" to the left of me...
The crazy older lady who's most likely trying to lose weight in her too tight spandex outfit pops open a can of pepsi!
It gets better...
She gets off about 10 mins later and I see that she has 2 cans!
WTF.
Pepsi lady on the elliptical, you will probably be the only person who makes me laugh all day.
Thank you.
After Lee's training I went to the gym to do some more cardio.
I'm on the elliptical, I'm still sweating from training, my legs F'ing hurt, I'm hungry, I had a bad night, I'm PISSED off, I hate having BBM, I'm contemplating swearing off all men, and I am on the verge of tears because life gave me lemons and they aren't F'ing squeezing to make lemonade with.
Then I hear a "POP" to the left of me...
The crazy older lady who's most likely trying to lose weight in her too tight spandex outfit pops open a can of pepsi!
It gets better...
She gets off about 10 mins later and I see that she has 2 cans!
WTF.
Pepsi lady on the elliptical, you will probably be the only person who makes me laugh all day.
Thank you.
The Dragon
They say you have to slay a lot of dragons in order to find your knight in shinning armor...this isn't exactly like the saying "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince". Its kind of the same concept, both have the same goal in mind but how you get there is different. Kissing frogs means you have to go through trials and tribulations with a lot of freaking guys before you find the right one. Slaying dragons consist of kissing a few frogs here and there but its mainly a synonym for dealing with life and dodging the curve balls it throws at you.
Relationships are difficult. I don't care if you think you're in the most perfect relationship in the whole world, at one point, whether it's in the beginning, later down the road, or even right now, all relationships have their road blocks.
Road blocks don't necessarily have to be between you and the other person. It can actually be you dealing with the struggles of life before you even meet your knight in shinning armor. For example, getting over an ex, getting through school, being over-worked, or simply finding yourself and being happy with who you are.
Sometimes slaying these dragons get hard and you end up getting hurt, but you always find a way to win, don't you? When times get tough and you feel like you keep stabbing this damn dragon and it's not freaking dying just remember, IT WILL DIE eventually, you just gotta figure out a different way to kill it.
The point of all of this? You can't be happy with someone until you're happy with yourself.
Relationships are difficult. I don't care if you think you're in the most perfect relationship in the whole world, at one point, whether it's in the beginning, later down the road, or even right now, all relationships have their road blocks.
Road blocks don't necessarily have to be between you and the other person. It can actually be you dealing with the struggles of life before you even meet your knight in shinning armor. For example, getting over an ex, getting through school, being over-worked, or simply finding yourself and being happy with who you are.
Sometimes slaying these dragons get hard and you end up getting hurt, but you always find a way to win, don't you? When times get tough and you feel like you keep stabbing this damn dragon and it's not freaking dying just remember, IT WILL DIE eventually, you just gotta figure out a different way to kill it.
The point of all of this? You can't be happy with someone until you're happy with yourself.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Velociraptor aka "Raptor"
Besides the tuck and roll I have a new soreness, it's called the VELOCIRAPTOR!!
Aka the Raptor is when your tendons and muscles are SO tight in your arms that you can't fully extend them and they are permanently bent. So when you walk around your upper arms stay glued to your body and your forearms...yeah they just kinda stick out and stay there.
So when you're at work, preferably at a nightclub full of drunken annoying idiots, and you're running back and forth through the crown pissed off as all hell because the 20 year old that has a table using her sister's ID getting a comped bottle, wants a glass of water because god forbid she pays $4.00 for a bottle of Voss, and you're trying to hurry angry at the world but you have no mobility of your arms...you kinda end up looking like a raptor! Think about it
Thank you Land Before Time for my inspiration.
Aka the Raptor is when your tendons and muscles are SO tight in your arms that you can't fully extend them and they are permanently bent. So when you walk around your upper arms stay glued to your body and your forearms...yeah they just kinda stick out and stay there.
So when you're at work, preferably at a nightclub full of drunken annoying idiots, and you're running back and forth through the crown pissed off as all hell because the 20 year old that has a table using her sister's ID getting a comped bottle, wants a glass of water because god forbid she pays $4.00 for a bottle of Voss, and you're trying to hurry angry at the world but you have no mobility of your arms...you kinda end up looking like a raptor! Think about it
Thank you Land Before Time for my inspiration.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Reassurance
I just got done watching the latest episode of 90210. BOYS.
Naomi and Liam
Sometimes all a girl needs is reassurance. I mean, well all knew that Liam liked Naomi and it's obvious that Naomi like Liam, otherwise she wouldn't continue to talk to him but Liam is a boy. Why do goes think that it's cool to act like a hardass? You really think anyone's even watching to judge you. Bottom line, if you like a girl tell her. Reassure her that she's the only one in your life, buy her flowers even if it's just a single stem of her favorite...it's the thought that counts. The littlest things you boys fail to understand is that we girls need constant reassurance, nothing spectacular, just a reminder here and there. It's not rocket science. We do it for you, try doing it for us. I use to hate Liam and I thought he was going to lie, he didn't. He told Naomi how he felt. If you don't do it, you might lose the chance to ever tell or show her.
Take Chances
Naomi and Liam
Sometimes all a girl needs is reassurance. I mean, well all knew that Liam liked Naomi and it's obvious that Naomi like Liam, otherwise she wouldn't continue to talk to him but Liam is a boy. Why do goes think that it's cool to act like a hardass? You really think anyone's even watching to judge you. Bottom line, if you like a girl tell her. Reassure her that she's the only one in your life, buy her flowers even if it's just a single stem of her favorite...it's the thought that counts. The littlest things you boys fail to understand is that we girls need constant reassurance, nothing spectacular, just a reminder here and there. It's not rocket science. We do it for you, try doing it for us. I use to hate Liam and I thought he was going to lie, he didn't. He told Naomi how he felt. If you don't do it, you might lose the chance to ever tell or show her.
Take Chances
I Blow Bruno Everyday
Haha...it's not what you think..dirty minds. For those of you who don't know, my car has a name, Bruno the Benz. I blow Bruno everyday now...for an entire year as a matter of fact..
You think you're having a bad day? Read this...then tell me how bad your day really is.
You think you're having a bad day? Read this...then tell me how bad your day really is.
- got pulled over for a DUI
- Sat in the holding cell for 8 hours in a short mini dress freezing my ass off trying to ignore the gynormous native american lady hovering over and on top of the toilet
- got realeased, picked up by my lovely ex boyfriend, go figure
- found a lawyer, paid my lawyer $2500
- got my license suspended for a month, i still drove, what? I didn't know they already suspened it, MDV doesn't understand the point of communicating
- got a restricted license for 2 months, you really think I only drove to work and school?
- went to court, charged $2000 in fines
- spent 24 hours in jail, i drugged myself with benedryl and nyquil so i barely remember
- didn't eat for 36 hours because I got sick before jail then went to jail and refused to eat the hungryman microwave dinner
- made C drive me straight to the gas station when she picked me up so I could get 2 doughnuts, don't ask
- got even sicker, came down with walking pneumonia
- enrolled in alcohol class (another $100) 2 hours a week, $20 every week until September
- sit in class listening to why people are addicted to Meth and how you have to "channel your addictions and aggression" to a more positive energy source
- got my license suspended again, lovely, lawyer didn't tell me this
- went to driving school ($100) for 8 hours on a saturday morning right after work, sat on the corner of shea and scottsdale road listing what errors each driver is making, then sat in a rotting room, literally there was mold on the ceiling boards
- had to wait til monday to get interlock installed on poor Bruno, thanks to everyone who picked and dropped me off during that time period
- drove to Mesa on a suspended license, got interlock installed ($90) and ($90 a month for an entire year)
- watched a movie on how to "blow" correctly
- drove to the MDV, re-instated my license ($75)
- got an official interlock ignition symbol on my fabulous Arizona license
- I BLOW Bruno everytime I start my car...I even blow him randomly to do running test, you know, just incase I decide to get sloshed while I'm driving
Yeah, I got a DUI...freaking sucks but what do you do? So, tell me how horrible your day is after you've read this. It's not so bad is it? Haha. Gotta love Arizona laws. You can be messed up on perscription drugs and get a DUI.
My advice? DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. DUI's SUCK BALLS!!!
My advice? DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE. DUI's SUCK BALLS!!!
Read Last Post First: Tuck and Roll
If you were wondering what a tuck and roll was...it's when your lower back hurts so badly you cant bed over or actually bend in anyway...so therefor in order to get up from lying down on my couch I have literally tuck myself so I don't hit the coffee table and roll off..kinda fun, try it sometime.
Personal Training...my ASS! Literally.
So I've been working out for a long time now...to me, if I don't sweat as I workout, then it's not a workout...sorry girls! If I'm not sore, what's the point? Ok...now I take that back. Last year I was in the best shape of my life! I was doing Squale's crazy mixed martial arts kickboxing class, bikram's yoga, going to the gym and training with Joe...but all of that, yeah that hasn't happen since last summer. Ok so I gained some weight, which I'm not too excited about, my gym workouts are definitely not as crazy as they use to be, a 3 mile run and weight training apparently did not prepare me for Lee's class. Half hour in Lee's class? Can it really be that hard? OMG I feel like an old lady, don't get me wrong, I love it, but let me tell ya...I'm going to be one ripped bitch when the shoot comes. Oh yeah, I made Tempe 12 this year, if you're wondering why the hell I'm training with a crazy 21 year old boxer. It's a love hate relationship...I love feeling sore and sweating balls...I HATE having to tuck and roll off my couch because I can't get up! LOL This ass + 5 weeks of training=hello looking hot in a bikini!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)