Yes, it's my birthday!!! And those birthday blues I had last week...well I think they are pretty much packed up in a little box and put away with the rest of last year. Birthdays to me have an entirely different meaning, they're not just a milestone. You know how people make resolutions on New Year's Eve? I make my resolution on my birthday, because after today, MY new year begins.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Birthday Blues
I'm definitely having the birthday blues...do you ever get them? I'm sure it happens to girls more often then it does to guys, I've seen it happen to a lot of friends.
Well, if you haven't experienced them, girls, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's kinda like being on your period. You feel fat no matter how much you run, how much you're on the stairmaster, how much you don't eat, you feel like a huge beached whale and all you want to do is eat a huge piece of cake with a pile of ice cream on it. You feel like a social outcast and doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching HGTV or FoodNetwork isn't very appealing at all. You don't feel pretty, you can be tan as fudge but your face still is like the freaking craters on the moon. All you feel like doing is crying, crying for no reason at all, and it's not the crying where you're looking for pity, but the crying where you feel like no one understands you or will ever understand you and you'll be even more upset when they think you're crazy for feeling the way you do. Then you think to last bday...that one's hard for me. I guess it's hard because it's the way I am and how I was made. I've spent every bday in vegas since I was 18 years old. The past 3 years I've spent it with an amazing person who meant the world to me, he was like my brother, an older brother I never had. We speant a lot of time together other than just bdays. He kept me company on very many Vegas trips and he kept me company while he visited Scottsdale. I had the most amazing birthday last year. I was lucky enough to have it drama free with people that I care the most about there. A week later Sammy past away in an awful car accident. I've never experienced a death before, his was the first. It was really hard on me although I did my best to stay strong for people around me. I didn't think that it would effect me still but the closer to my bday it gets the sadder I get.
Not really sure if anyone out there can relate to what I'm feeling. just a combination of things. Stress, not working, not making any money, bills, my stupid fudging DUI bs...right now I feel like I can't do anything right.
A little reassurance would be nice and I know I'll have fun on my bdday regardless. I tried to leave it up to my friends to be a surprise but once again I still partook in the planning. I didn't want to. For the first time ever I wanted to be surprised, I'm always the one planning and coordinating my bday. Planning everyone else's so their bday is the BEST day they've had all year. From balloons, flowers, tee shirts, dinners, homemade cupcakes, streamers, confetti...everything.
Birthday blues suck. I'm just venting and I know I'll be fine. Just wished someone understood how I felt without thinking I was overdramtic or crazy.
Well, if you haven't experienced them, girls, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's kinda like being on your period. You feel fat no matter how much you run, how much you're on the stairmaster, how much you don't eat, you feel like a huge beached whale and all you want to do is eat a huge piece of cake with a pile of ice cream on it. You feel like a social outcast and doing anything other than laying on the couch and watching HGTV or FoodNetwork isn't very appealing at all. You don't feel pretty, you can be tan as fudge but your face still is like the freaking craters on the moon. All you feel like doing is crying, crying for no reason at all, and it's not the crying where you're looking for pity, but the crying where you feel like no one understands you or will ever understand you and you'll be even more upset when they think you're crazy for feeling the way you do. Then you think to last bday...that one's hard for me. I guess it's hard because it's the way I am and how I was made. I've spent every bday in vegas since I was 18 years old. The past 3 years I've spent it with an amazing person who meant the world to me, he was like my brother, an older brother I never had. We speant a lot of time together other than just bdays. He kept me company on very many Vegas trips and he kept me company while he visited Scottsdale. I had the most amazing birthday last year. I was lucky enough to have it drama free with people that I care the most about there. A week later Sammy past away in an awful car accident. I've never experienced a death before, his was the first. It was really hard on me although I did my best to stay strong for people around me. I didn't think that it would effect me still but the closer to my bday it gets the sadder I get.
Not really sure if anyone out there can relate to what I'm feeling. just a combination of things. Stress, not working, not making any money, bills, my stupid fudging DUI bs...right now I feel like I can't do anything right.
A little reassurance would be nice and I know I'll have fun on my bdday regardless. I tried to leave it up to my friends to be a surprise but once again I still partook in the planning. I didn't want to. For the first time ever I wanted to be surprised, I'm always the one planning and coordinating my bday. Planning everyone else's so their bday is the BEST day they've had all year. From balloons, flowers, tee shirts, dinners, homemade cupcakes, streamers, confetti...everything.
Birthday blues suck. I'm just venting and I know I'll be fine. Just wished someone understood how I felt without thinking I was overdramtic or crazy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My Pinky Toe: Damn It To High Heels!
My pinky toe is a little upset
it actually wants to kill me, that I bet
Damn it to high heels and longer legs
let me outta this shoe my pinky begs!
Right now its all black and blue
surely soon the nail will need to be glued
It's red and swollen like a baby pig
the knuckle is huge and really big
Kinda looks like a fat little worm
outta the shoe it wants to squirm!
Damn it to high heels I'm so over you!
someone let my pinky toe outta these shoes!
it actually wants to kill me, that I bet
Damn it to high heels and longer legs
let me outta this shoe my pinky begs!
Right now its all black and blue
surely soon the nail will need to be glued
It's red and swollen like a baby pig
the knuckle is huge and really big
Kinda looks like a fat little worm
outta the shoe it wants to squirm!
Damn it to high heels I'm so over you!
someone let my pinky toe outta these shoes!
He's Just Not That Into You
"...These stories don't help you. These stories are the exceptions to the rule. We want you to think of yourself as the rule. Thinking of yourself as the exception is what got you into this mess in the first place. Tell your friends to stop telling you these stories...."
My Favorite Excuses
-"I'm just not ready"
-"He's afraid to get hurt again"
-"He just got out of a relationship"
-"But he's got a lot on his mind"
Ok, so I've read the book and I watched the movie yesterday and I have a lot of wheels spinning in my mind. If you think about it, everything makes perfect sense, it's just up to us to accept it or not. When you think you like someone you put up with excuses and re-word everything they say to you. Snap out of it! Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of a lot of what not to do...but I won't let it happen in the future and no one should, guy or girl.
This is what I've come up with and I'm sticking to it whether anyone agrees with me or not...
-If you like someone, regardless of the situation, whether you just got your heart smashed and stepped on and you feel like it's the end of the world, don't let that get in between potential new feelings, don't use "i just got out of a relationship" as an excuse. You might actually be passing something amazing by.
-If you figure out you're just not that into that person, don't make excuses!!! Be honest and upfront! And don't let it continue, nothings worse than being in the dark.
-If you are honestly looking for a booty call be honest about that too and don't lead that person on making them think that it could really turn into a relationship
-Don't compare your old relationship to your new one...everyone is different!!! Obviously. Comparing and judging is just going to hurt your new relationship and it's just not worth the stress.
-Don't use the excuse "I'm just not ready to date anyone". This is such bullshit. The real answer, you don't like that person enough to date them.
-If you like someone, sometimes you have to risk being hurt. Life is about trial and error, if you don't try, how will you figure out what you want. Every relationship, good or bad, will teach you something new about you or what you are looking for.
I honestly don't know if people will ever learn. Maybe it's just this generation that's F*ed up. But I'm going to give love the benefit of the doubt...there are people out there that are genuinely good people and understand that feelings are involved when it comes to relationships.
So F*** the people that have hurt you
Know your self-worth
Learn from your mistakes
Don't accept anything less
Keep trying, don't give up, it'll happen when you least expect it
"Don't waste the pretty"
My Favorite Excuses
-"I'm just not ready"
-"He's afraid to get hurt again"
-"He just got out of a relationship"
-"But he's got a lot on his mind"
Ok, so I've read the book and I watched the movie yesterday and I have a lot of wheels spinning in my mind. If you think about it, everything makes perfect sense, it's just up to us to accept it or not. When you think you like someone you put up with excuses and re-word everything they say to you. Snap out of it! Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I'm guilty of a lot of what not to do...but I won't let it happen in the future and no one should, guy or girl.
This is what I've come up with and I'm sticking to it whether anyone agrees with me or not...
-If you like someone, regardless of the situation, whether you just got your heart smashed and stepped on and you feel like it's the end of the world, don't let that get in between potential new feelings, don't use "i just got out of a relationship" as an excuse. You might actually be passing something amazing by.
-If you figure out you're just not that into that person, don't make excuses!!! Be honest and upfront! And don't let it continue, nothings worse than being in the dark.
-If you are honestly looking for a booty call be honest about that too and don't lead that person on making them think that it could really turn into a relationship
-Don't compare your old relationship to your new one...everyone is different!!! Obviously. Comparing and judging is just going to hurt your new relationship and it's just not worth the stress.
-Don't use the excuse "I'm just not ready to date anyone". This is such bullshit. The real answer, you don't like that person enough to date them.
-If you like someone, sometimes you have to risk being hurt. Life is about trial and error, if you don't try, how will you figure out what you want. Every relationship, good or bad, will teach you something new about you or what you are looking for.
I honestly don't know if people will ever learn. Maybe it's just this generation that's F*ed up. But I'm going to give love the benefit of the doubt...there are people out there that are genuinely good people and understand that feelings are involved when it comes to relationships.
So F*** the people that have hurt you
Know your self-worth
Learn from your mistakes
Don't accept anything less
Keep trying, don't give up, it'll happen when you least expect it
"Don't waste the pretty"
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Elliptical Disaster
This has to make everyone kinda laugh...
After Lee's training I went to the gym to do some more cardio.
I'm on the elliptical, I'm still sweating from training, my legs F'ing hurt, I'm hungry, I had a bad night, I'm PISSED off, I hate having BBM, I'm contemplating swearing off all men, and I am on the verge of tears because life gave me lemons and they aren't F'ing squeezing to make lemonade with.
Then I hear a "POP" to the left of me...
The crazy older lady who's most likely trying to lose weight in her too tight spandex outfit pops open a can of pepsi!
It gets better...
She gets off about 10 mins later and I see that she has 2 cans!
WTF.
Pepsi lady on the elliptical, you will probably be the only person who makes me laugh all day.
Thank you.
After Lee's training I went to the gym to do some more cardio.
I'm on the elliptical, I'm still sweating from training, my legs F'ing hurt, I'm hungry, I had a bad night, I'm PISSED off, I hate having BBM, I'm contemplating swearing off all men, and I am on the verge of tears because life gave me lemons and they aren't F'ing squeezing to make lemonade with.
Then I hear a "POP" to the left of me...
The crazy older lady who's most likely trying to lose weight in her too tight spandex outfit pops open a can of pepsi!
It gets better...
She gets off about 10 mins later and I see that she has 2 cans!
WTF.
Pepsi lady on the elliptical, you will probably be the only person who makes me laugh all day.
Thank you.
The Dragon
They say you have to slay a lot of dragons in order to find your knight in shinning armor...this isn't exactly like the saying "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince". Its kind of the same concept, both have the same goal in mind but how you get there is different. Kissing frogs means you have to go through trials and tribulations with a lot of freaking guys before you find the right one. Slaying dragons consist of kissing a few frogs here and there but its mainly a synonym for dealing with life and dodging the curve balls it throws at you.
Relationships are difficult. I don't care if you think you're in the most perfect relationship in the whole world, at one point, whether it's in the beginning, later down the road, or even right now, all relationships have their road blocks.
Road blocks don't necessarily have to be between you and the other person. It can actually be you dealing with the struggles of life before you even meet your knight in shinning armor. For example, getting over an ex, getting through school, being over-worked, or simply finding yourself and being happy with who you are.
Sometimes slaying these dragons get hard and you end up getting hurt, but you always find a way to win, don't you? When times get tough and you feel like you keep stabbing this damn dragon and it's not freaking dying just remember, IT WILL DIE eventually, you just gotta figure out a different way to kill it.
The point of all of this? You can't be happy with someone until you're happy with yourself.
Relationships are difficult. I don't care if you think you're in the most perfect relationship in the whole world, at one point, whether it's in the beginning, later down the road, or even right now, all relationships have their road blocks.
Road blocks don't necessarily have to be between you and the other person. It can actually be you dealing with the struggles of life before you even meet your knight in shinning armor. For example, getting over an ex, getting through school, being over-worked, or simply finding yourself and being happy with who you are.
Sometimes slaying these dragons get hard and you end up getting hurt, but you always find a way to win, don't you? When times get tough and you feel like you keep stabbing this damn dragon and it's not freaking dying just remember, IT WILL DIE eventually, you just gotta figure out a different way to kill it.
The point of all of this? You can't be happy with someone until you're happy with yourself.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Velociraptor aka "Raptor"
Besides the tuck and roll I have a new soreness, it's called the VELOCIRAPTOR!!
Aka the Raptor is when your tendons and muscles are SO tight in your arms that you can't fully extend them and they are permanently bent. So when you walk around your upper arms stay glued to your body and your forearms...yeah they just kinda stick out and stay there.
So when you're at work, preferably at a nightclub full of drunken annoying idiots, and you're running back and forth through the crown pissed off as all hell because the 20 year old that has a table using her sister's ID getting a comped bottle, wants a glass of water because god forbid she pays $4.00 for a bottle of Voss, and you're trying to hurry angry at the world but you have no mobility of your arms...you kinda end up looking like a raptor! Think about it
Thank you Land Before Time for my inspiration.
Aka the Raptor is when your tendons and muscles are SO tight in your arms that you can't fully extend them and they are permanently bent. So when you walk around your upper arms stay glued to your body and your forearms...yeah they just kinda stick out and stay there.
So when you're at work, preferably at a nightclub full of drunken annoying idiots, and you're running back and forth through the crown pissed off as all hell because the 20 year old that has a table using her sister's ID getting a comped bottle, wants a glass of water because god forbid she pays $4.00 for a bottle of Voss, and you're trying to hurry angry at the world but you have no mobility of your arms...you kinda end up looking like a raptor! Think about it
Thank you Land Before Time for my inspiration.
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